I Brake for Wilted Salad

God’s grace, my friends and the moments of laughter during the whole ordeal kept me going. It can’t all be gloom and doom, right? A girl’s gotta laugh and I’ll be the first to tell you that my ex gave me a lot to laugh about. Some of what I am about to write is so unbelievable that I took pictures to share with friends! Like the gun and sitting next to me at Mass the Sunday after he left, there were so many things that were SO over the top unbelievable I took pictures and screenshots to PROVE it. Sane people just don’t behave this way.

A few months after he left, knowing the car he left us was having brake issues, my ex offered to “do the brakes for me”. No, stop laughing. He was serious. He thought I would allow him to fix the brakes on my car. How stupid would I have to be to allow the man who left the way he did to even touch the brakes on my car? When I mentioned how insane it would be, he honestly did not see a problem with his offer. Only a narcissist would think this. Why? Because a narcissist like pilot boy literally thinks they have done nothing wrong, ever. They have disordered thinking and honestly do not see how crazy they are, so this offer to fix my brakes for me seemed completely logical to him.

10 months after he left, I came home from work one night and there were tomatoes, wilted lettuce and a very limp, wilted cucumber on my counter. Knowing that my middle son would NEVER purchase ingredients for salad and that my youngest son would never purchase such CRAPPY ingredients for salad, I wondered where it came from. I knocked on the middle son’s door and asked from where these items had appeared.

He said, “Oh, dad dropped by and gave them to me. He didn’t want them to go to waste.” I asked, “He what? He knows you don’t eat salad and besides, it’s wilted.” Y’all, I walked to the kitchen, took the pictures and tossed that $h*t into the trash. He knew he wasn’t supposed to come on my property, but he continued to do so for YEARS after he left. Stopping by to drop off wilted salad he no longer wanted? That certainly kicked it up another notch of crazy. After everything that happened in the previous 10 months, he actually thought that it was reasonable to bring leftover food to my house. Riiiiiiiiggggght. My first thought was, “Did he poison this?”

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