This isn’t how life was supposed to turn out for my kids and I hurt for them. My youngest two haven’t seen their father in 7 months, and then it was only a brief few hours visit. I’ve been a single parent, especially since the ex moved out of state.
Kids deserve to have two parents at home- a mom and a dad. I am blessed that I was able to stay home with my kids, raise them and homeschool for 17 years. I understand that not many moms or kids get this opportunity in life. We live in a fallen world where God has given us free will, so kids, parents and people don’t always get what they deserve. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and God hates broken families. He loves the people, but hates the sin.
The boys have struggled since the day their father walked. I can definitely say I would never have made it through if my youngest boys weren’t living at home with me the last several years! They’ve been here through thick and thin, one or the other or both. God has been good to me and my boys have been God’s blessings to me!
I’ve been wrestling with God recently as I watched my middle son suffer through some rough spots. I’ve prayed really hard for him and I struggle with my anger toward their father for what he’s done and what he’s failed to do. I went to bed angry the other night because their father isn’t here to help me in parenting them–yes, young college students still need parenting. I’m also doing my best to make sure my youngest has his upcoming medical procedures done, but it would be nice to have some backup. Last year my youngest missed several needed medical procedures and I felt like I was all alone in the battle to get him there.
My middle son seemed to have lost motivation. While he continues to do well in school, he lacked motivation in other areas of his life. I didn’t want to keep beating a dead horse, because I’ve talked to him about this repeatedly.
He didn’t get the internship he wanted and needs a job. I’d said my piece and just went on to praying. Friends have questioned me and told me they were concerned about him and his future, too. I felt I did all I could do to help my 22 year old son. His father has me blocked from calling, texting, emailing and when I make a “private” call, refuses to answer. Even when the boys are hospitalized! His parents also refuse. So, there is NO committed group effort to help my sons. Ever.
Yesterday, I wrestled all day with God. “How do I help my son, Lord? He needs a father on earth. Why did you allow his father to leave while he still needed a father!?” To be clear, God doesn’t cause bad things to happen. God gives humans free will and allows things to happen, but He doesn’t cause them. I know that all three of my boys have a Heavenly Father who loves them and will always provide for their needs. I just hate that their earthly father is absent most of the time. He is not physically present, though he does occasionally text and call them.
When I arrived home last night, my son told me that he’d found several internships that he is interested in. He went further, “I worked on updating my cover letter and X’s dad is going to go over it tonight and help me.”
Y’all, I immediately praised God for answered prayers!!! I also thanked God for the Christian men who step up to help those whose own earthly fathers are not present to help. These men are truly an answer to prayer. God is good.