Welfare, I mean Alimony

I’m sure my exhole is no different than exholes all across America. He left and blamed me for everything. Blamed me for his leaving. Blamed me for taking him to court. On and on. He is the typical narcissist, nothing is ever his fault, even when it is. 😂 This is just a random Saturday morning vent.

The fact that the state upholds traditional marriage and doesn’t allow men to walk out on stay-at-home moms and take everything isn’t my fault. Just as many women are grateful that the law protects us as there are disgruntled men who are angry that the law protects us. My wasband continually reminded me that the money and anything he paid for using it was his. It is obvious that he doesn’t understand what marriage is. He refers to alimony as “welfare” knowing full well that he wouldn’t be making over $250,000 at his current airline cargo job if I hadn’t been the one to spend long hours at the hospital with our children. For the record, I refer to it as my pension. I look at his filing for divorce after 24 years of marriage as his letting me go and I received severance benefits.

This past week, my lawyer called to let me know exhole withdrew legal counsel and that I/we would have to communicate directly with him regarding any breach of our legal agreement. Joy of all joys. Because he’s late again this month. I’m sure he’ll be whining that my forced communication is harassment. Since he still has his lyinpattie@gmail.com account up and running, I took the liberty of creating adulterouspilot@gmail.com and paramourwhorenurse@gmail.com this weekend. Turnabout is fair play, right? Actually, he makes it hard to communicate by blocking texts and emails, so I have to be creative. I send him all of the medical collections notices via pdf and regular mail–hoping one day he will be the father God calls him to be and actually pay them.

Monday morning, I will contact my lawyer again about filing a contempt of court motion (show cause). He’s complained to folks that his lawyer charges him every time my lawyer contacts her. He has yet to figure out that these communications don’t occur if he abides by the legal agreement.

After being out of the work force for 24 years, I think I’m doing okay. While I don’t earn what pilot boy does, I hope to be self-sufficient once alimony ends. I can’t make up 24 years of working in 2 1/2 years. It’s a near impossible task, but I’ve got goals. I use the alimony more to help my kids- hospital trips, co-pays, prescriptions, food, shelter, but in just under 4 years, I hope to have gained in the work experience area and pray I earn enough to survive on my own.

I’m glad the law sides with abandoned women. I’m not ashamed that he has to pay alimony. I sacrificed for my family and for his career, and he doesn’t get to just walk away and leave me (and the boys) homeless, penniless and without anything to our names. It angers him to no end that he didn’t *win* it all.

I’m praying he pays up and that I don’t have another round of court and legal battles ahead. It’s not surprising that a man who walked out on his vows would also decide not to uphold a legal settlement. The same man who wrote all of this:

I worked part time because he left a week after my surgery. I walked when I wasn’t supposed to in order to work and ended up almost rupturing my Achilles’ Tendon. I was working and going to PT 3 times a week. I never took home more than he did! Ha!

Earning my welfare. My Avatar for him is perfect.
He has held true to this text. Refuses to pay the boys’ medical bills. He didn’t shell out thousands–a drug company paid for the IgG and exhole did not.
He refused to use the HSA to pay the boys’ medical bills. All the money is his, according to him.

2 thoughts on “Welfare, I mean Alimony”

  1. I’m very glad that you have started this blog. You can’t be the only woman dealing with an “exhole” like this and I think you will be extremely encouraging to other women in similar situations. The depths that he continually sinks to to NOT support his very own children blows my mind…just when you think he couldn’t possibly sink any lower, he does. I admire how you have just done what needed to be done and showed your children and everyone else that hard work and never yielding faith faith in our Father will get you where you need to be. Keep posting 🙂


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