I am a Formidable Foe

What a week it has been! Oy vey! When “they” say dealing with a death is easier because it’s final, I believe it. Death is horrible, don’t get me wrong there. One receives the gut wrenching blow, then, life slowly life moves forward through the grieving process and eventually the healing process. Divorce tears two people apart and these two people are alive and able to torment each other until death. They just no longer live with one another as they did when married.

My ex thinks I’m stupid and is always attempting to add insult to injury. I have to keep standing up for myself to remind him: I am a formidable foe. I would think his new woman would despise the amount of time he spends passive-aggressively tormenting me, but that’s just me. Maybe she enjoys it, too. I cannot wrap my brain around it– when they shut off my internet account, it really shocked me. I’ve since learned not to be shocked by anything any longer. I am happy to report that I am finally indifferent to the man.

Quick rundown: I took him to court after he left. Judge handed him his ass on a silver platter. Yet, he still wouldn’t settle in the 8 month timeframe given, so there we were on the eve of our second court date. I had already agreed to accept a lot less than the judge had ordered previously. After 5pm the night before we were due in court his lawyer said the ex would sign the agreement. Little did I know that actually meant he MIGHT sign it, if I gave him more and more and then some. A month later, on the day the agreement took effect, the wasband signed the agreement. Whew, right? Oh, hell no. He has broken the agreement, that was entered into the court, more times than you can imagine. Over and over. He’s a narcissist, remember? Rules do not apply to him. He’s special.

I knew last week when I was informed he no longer had legal counsel that this week was going to be a living hell. It has been!

My lawyer informed me that we now had to communicate directly with him. Joy of all joys, right? I believe he had no intention of abiding by the legal agreement this month. I believe he thought because he was in Alaska and then Japan for a month that he couldn’t be served. He was served through his lawyer the first time, hence the reason he fired his lawyer–the option to be served through his attorney is gone. If he is out of the country he can’t be served in person, right!? Of course, processors would find him when he landed or made it to Sunday dinner at his parents. He also thinks processors are stupid because, to a narcissist, everyone on the planet is less intelligent than he. Like bounty hunters, processors will find you and serve you.

He was 4 days late and I had a trick up my sleeve that didn’t require my lawyer. I’m praying that this last resort of mine means he will abide by the legal agreement from here on out. It’s been 2 years and 8 months, and he’s continually violated the law and the court order. He’s a narcissist. Rules don’t apply to narcissists. I’m hopeful, anyway. At least until the next round where I might have to reassert the fact that I am a strong woman and a worthy adversary. It gets exhausting– especially after 28 years of knowing the creep.

I’ve finally reached the place that is the opposite of love: indifference. While I don’t wish the man and his paramour ill, I can honestly say I don’t care if he’s living in a box or dirt poor. I don’t care about his well-being or his retirement plans. When he walked, he didn’t care anything about me, my future or that of our boys and I’ve finally arrived. I’ve arrived at the place where I can look at him and feel nothing. Except maybe a slight twinge of pity.

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