I’m about to write something not many folks have the guts to say in public, much less on a public blog.
Dear grandparents, you should be ashamed. Yes, you. You should be woefully ashamed. This is something that I have pondered for years now. Way back when your oldest was in college and dating a divorced woman, you refused to let said woman even stay at your house. Four divorced children later, you let your MARRIED son stay at your house WITH a divorced woman. My, how times change. Situational morality at its best.
This isn’t even the worst part of what’s happened since the ex became a cheater. I’ve know the wasband and his family now for 28 years. I am the woman their mom/grandma called in the middle of the night to bring her to the ER. I am the woman who cooked weekly meals for their mom/mother. I am the woman who found babysitters for my children so I could go with mom/grandma to her doctor visits. I am the woman they trusted to do these things and not once in those 28 years have I ever stolen anything from ANYONE. Yet the grandparents somehow assume that I would steal from my own sons!? How absurd!
In the beginning, they sent their yearly Christmas and birthday checks to my children in care of adulterous son at whatever address he was located. Never mind that he never saw his children on their birthdays or Christmas. I wasn’t entirely sure if they sent the checks via douchewaffle to give him an excuse to see his kids for a brief moment or if they thought I might take the check. Recent events have brought much clarity.
The grandparents call a few times a year. This year, before the hospital trip, I sent the only text I have ever sent out to his family since he bolted–asking them to tell the wasband that both of his youngest sons had broken down cars and needed help getting them fixed and the youngest needed help getting to pre-op. I was already tapped out after setting money aside for the upcoming hospital trip. My youngest couldn’t even get to his pre-op appointment without scoring a ride for the hour long trip. NONE of the family reached out to my boys, according to them.
The week after the trip, my youngest had his birthday. We had a great time bowling with friends and going out to eat. No one in the ex’s family called him, of course. The following day, the grandparents called to let him know they were busy the day prior finishing up on the new house they are building. House comes first, but I digress, they told him they would be sending a gift. The funny part is that my son had to explain that he is living with me and would prefer it be sent here to OUR house– you, know the house where he actually lives. At the time, I just thought, “Oh, the usual crap. Wouldn’t want the woman who was faithful to their son for 24 years and isn’t the one who left to possibly intercept the check!”
Bingo! I was right! They called today–upping their yearly average number of phone calls– to check on the check. My middle told them it had arrived and that he had received it. As I listened to the conversation, I was FLOORED. They really thought I might take his check? What the heck? Then I thought, “You slimeballs! I’m the woman who helped your grandson PAY to get his car fixed when your son refused. I am the woman who brought them to the hospital and your son refused to help pay a penny! And you think that the woman who never cheated on your son, didn’t leave your son, who has always put her children FIRST would take your pathetic, pitiful birthday check from your grandson? REALLY? Maybe YOU should have sent the check early to help him get his car fixed you jerks!!!”
I am sure that I am not the only woman who has had the ex’s family turned against them. I don’t actually care what those people think of me, but I do vent from time to time as it is cathartic. I often wonder what the cheating bastard has told them about me, as I am sure any woman whose ex-family has become bitter would do. I am sure in the beginning that my scramble to survive after ex drained the bank accounts, he told them I took the last $500 out (he left enough to pay bills in his name he’d already set up prior to draining the account) and I also reimbursed medial expenses I had paid from the HSA. I don’t apologize for surviving. I had just had surgery, wasn’t supposed to be walking as much as I was for work and I did what I needed to do to survive. I was a Stay-at-home-mom who started a part-time job the week prior to the well paid cheating pilot leaving. Anyone in my position would have done the same. I did nothing illegal or immoral. Again, I have never stolen anything from anyone in my life and yet these people think I would steal from my children.
Sorry gramps and granny, I don’t need your pittance to help me get by. I would appreciate daddy-O being a good father and y’all being good grandparents, though.