Back at My Home Church

It’s been a long time coming, but I am finally back to attending church close to home. While I never registered at another church or revoked my registration at our “home church”, I have attended other Catholic churches in the area since dip sat next to me in the pew the Sunday after he left and then later proceeded to make church uncomfortable every week thereafter. He would call the boys as soon as they stepped outside the church building instead of just walking up to them and talking. Imagine that, the man who felt brave enough to sit next to me at Mass the week following his departure, couldn’t walk up to his sons after rMass in subsequent weeks. Maybe it was because the one time he parked next to me at Mass, I said rather loudly, “Hello, Coward!” as I waved to him.

Since he and his paramour have moved away, life has been more peaceful. My garage doors stay closed and none of my pets gets loose. No one trespasses on my property (okay, that could be because I installed video cameras) and ex doesn’t visit my dad. I probably should not acknowledge that I have not had any accounts hacked or services shut off in a year, which has been an exceedingly nice reprieve from his passive-aggressive games. (Hope I didn’t use jinx myself). Since he’s been gone since last October, I have been able to go back to my church family that I love. I’ve been attending the same church since 2005 and after wasband left, he made it so uncomfortable to attend, that I just stopped. Save a few times a year with my sons.

I now understand that it is narcissism that makes a man who burglarized the family home and who left his family do the things my ex has done. Only a self-absorbed, self-serving and delusional narcissistic man would think it okay to sit next to his wife and son at church the week after he left in such a manner. It is difficult to sit in the same church with the husband you know is having an extramarital affair, too (we were legally married until February 5, 2018 and married in the church until October 2018). Since it was painfully obvious that he was not going to stop attending our church, I made the decision to leave for a while. It’s nice to be back and to be free from him–completely.

It’s been a rough road trying to find peace amid the chaos and being able to worship at the church close to home with people I have known for over 14 years will be helpful in helping me recenter my life. I am happy to be home again.

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